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"Stop labelling. Start living."

Feel.

Rumi in his poem ‘Smoke’ writes that “Fire is my child, but I must be consumed and become fire.”

All my life

I have been this dull grey.

Another face in a sea of faces.

Another leaf in a dense foliage.

 

I was the wind, but never

A fierce gale-

Enough to please, but never enough

To ruffle more than a few feathers.

 

My eyes shone with strange life

Inked with varying hues-

Enough to be noticed, but never enough

For you to stop and stare.

 

It was never me you saw;

Always my face.

A dull facade.

A lying mask.

 

I was was never the one to shine, never

The brightest star.

Just a glowing ember;

Just this dull glow.

 

I look at you, and then

At myself.

The dull glow brightens.

The sparks fly.

 

And now I shall come forth

Remove my mask and break free; for

Fire is my child, but I must be consumed

And become fire.

 

Fire I am now.

Bask in my glow; for only

In this blinding light will you

Finally see me for myself.

Of Pies And Heartbreaks

This article was published in the Welham Girls’ School’s literary magazine – Chrysalis, October’15. The article is self-illustrated.


Dear Pie,

My heart weighs me down as I pen these words to you. I need not explain the frisson between us – it in itself is a wonder to behold. In the history of all things sane, never has so strong a bond been created. I still remember the day I first set my eyes on you. Encased in fragile pink tissues you sat; a majestic sight with your buttery crust glistening in the pale evening light. I was fearful of approaching your delectable self at first. My existence seemed insignificant in comparison to your regal sumptuousness. I am glad that I overcame my fears for my first bite of you was the cause for jubilation the likes of which haven’t been witnessed since the creation of the blueberry cheesecake. As your crust melted in my mouth, I let myself bask in your glory as my tongue assimilated the peanut-buttery opulence of your being. It was then that I knew; we were meant to be. Sadly, I was also ludicrous enough in thinking that neither heaven nor earth could make us part; neither mountains nor the skies could tear us apart.

It seems now that part we must. It is a shallow world we live in. I have long tried to maintain an air of nonchalance about me whenever sizes were being discussed. I tried not to care; I swear I did; but now it seems that in order for me to fit into society, I must fit into a certain size. Ergo, for me to be accepted into society, I must cut all ties with you. I hope you do know how painful this is for me, but alas! it is a shallow world we live in.

It pains me, it really does, when I realize that I may never again feel your buttery smoothness on my tongue. It breaks me, it really does, when I realize that I may never again smell your divine aroma. It crushes me, it really does, when I realize that I may never again sink my teeth into your moist interior, relishing each bite as flavours overwhelm my senses and all too soon, they are gone; leaving me wanting, craving, desiring, longing for more.

I shall write no more. I shall not make this any more arduous than it already is. They say, if you love something, let it go. I am letting you go and I hope that if and when I am finally able to squeeze into society, you will come back to me.

Till then, you shall forever occupy a corner of by heavy and broken heart.

Yours lovingly, 

An Ex.

465 Shades Of Different.

She loved the sound of her own voice. Hours would pass and she would never tire of her stories. She never even noticed, I guess, the way the hours flew by.

She radiated warmth- an unconventional kind of warmth, I think, which drew everyone to her.

She evaded questions. She was blessed with the skill of diversion. An acquired art, she called it. I think she just loved the concept of alliterations, to be honest.

Her hobbies included making goat noises and pretending she was in Disneyland. I guess she never really grew up, in the best sense of the phrase.

She saved wishes. From birthday candles to the occasional eyelash, I think she had over a hundred  thousand wishes all saved up. Being prepared, she called it. You never know when you might just need a wish to be fulfilled real bad.

She never bothered with reading. Senseless, she called it. I guess, the letters bothered her as much as they bother me. They never seem to remain still, do they?

She loved the sun. She loved the grass. She loved the dewdrops. She loved the pine trees. She loved the smell of wet earth.

Living, she called it.

I think she was just 465 shades of different.

The Other Side

All she hears is nothingness. Pure absolute nothingness. All she feels is her heart hammering against her chest. Her fragile, fragile heart thumping against her chest.
The world spins around her, fast and unrelenting. She blinks. Tries to focus but to no avail.
Fade in.
Fade out.
Black nothingness.
A blur of colours.
She rests her head against the wall. The tiled wall feels cool to her feverish skin. She groans and then stifles it.
No one must hear her.
No one can hear her.
The world merges into another dull blur of colours as she starts to float away. Further with each passing second.
And next to her, the blade is tinged with red as it lies in a dark, murky pool of blood.

Types Of Humans

Hello. Welcome to Types Of Humans. Here you will discover descriptions of various people around the world. Kindly identify your kind and depending on the description, rejoice with your brethren or curse your existence.
1. The Sore/Sour Loser : “Dont you know? She only won cause her uncle’s son’s friend’s father’s niece sponsored the whole thing. Otherwise I had it, you know?”
2. The Kleptomaniac: “Oh goodness, you don’t really think I was trying to take this, right? I just wanted to know the expiry date hehehehe.”
3. The Brand Factory: ” Okay eew lady, what in the world are you even wearing? Is that Zara? Dont you know that Zara is so out and people swear by Yves Saint Laurent nowadays?”
4. The Pinocchio: “Oh hey, what are you doing tonight? Where will you be shopping? Who was the guy you were hanging out with last night? What’s your annual salary? Why do you wear denim all the time? You don’t think I’m poking my nose in your business, do you?”
5. The Know-It-All: ” Well, that is incorrect. The Earth is attracted to the sun with a large force inversely proportional to the distance squared. Its surprising you don’t know that cause I do. But then, there are many things which I know and you don’t, aren’t there?”
6. The Sweetheart: ” Its okay, you can leave this Double Chocolate Cinnamon Mud Pie with me. I wont eat it, I swear.”
7. The Spoiler: ” Have you read XYZ by so-and-so? The guy dies cause his mum gets him killed. Wait, was that head shake supposed to be a no? As in a ‘no-I-havent-read-the-book-yet’ no? Oops, but you had to know that anyway right?”
8. The Beast: ” Hey, that doughnut looks good. Are you sure you want to have it? It’ll do nothing but add to your calorie count, which you have already exceeded today, by the way. What if those cute cut-offs dont fit you after this? I still think eating that doughnut is a terrible idea. After all, your metabolic rate isn’t as high as mine is, right?”
9. The Foodie: “If you touch my food, I’m going to stick a skewer through you and roast you over the charcoal spit and eat you. Maintain a distance of 2.47 metres from my food and dont get any perverted ideas about trying to get me to share. Of course I’m not a foodie, you jerk. The word is Connoisseur. Wait, that’s the word, isn’t it?
10. The Mongrel: “Hey, so what if I don’t bathe for 593 hours? My armpit still smells as fresh as a bunch of freshly plucked honeydew. Why are you scrunching up your nose? I just brushed my teeth the day before last. Why are you looking at me like I’m a freak? Dude, I believe in an organic and natural existence. My eau de naturalé beats any of your Chanel No.9.”

Now, since you have been enlightened with the existence of such personas, I urge you to take a pledge and try your hardest to be as much as you can like #6.
The world needs more of you.
Heck, I need more of you.
Amen.

The Boy Who Wanted Oranges

My father is not your average forty plus man. He has an unconventional love for life- absolute and yet absurd. From his uncanny habit of deliberately mispronouncing words in English to the precision with which he analyses a person at the very first glance- anything the man does is out of the box.
He wasn’t born with a silver spoon in his mouth and I knew vague bits and pieces about his childhood- a childhood where he was starved for love and affection, a childhood where he was shunned by his father and neglected by his mother. Surpassing all obstacles, that unwanted boy is now where many born privileged can only dream to be.
I knew vague bits about his childhood but that changed one summer.
I was 14 and my mother told me a story.
*****
Once there was a boy 16 summers old. His parents did not exactly dote upon him. While his dad resorted to polygamy and his mother continued to neglect him, the boy stood his ground. He knew he was destined for something big.
The boy loved oranges and his step-mum would get them for her son, but never would one be offered to the 16 year old boy; nor would he ever ask- such was his pride.
One day, unable to resist himself he resorted to climbing the shaky tree in the backyard which boasted of worm infested oranges. So great was his craving, that in the urgency of it all he slipped and went crashing down.
Below him lay bare iron rods, sticking out of a barren cemented slab. The rods pierced through the boy’s flesh and even as he lay there in a pool of blood, screaming in anguish, no one heard his cries.
“Who is the boy, Ma?”, I ask.
She smiles sadly and asks, ” Have you ever noticed the scars on Papa’s upper arms?”
*****
My father always knew it was him against the world. He knew that he had to carve out his own destiny and what a destiny the man did create! He lacks nothing now- the very nothing he started out with.
Its been 29 years and the wound may have healed but the pain still remains.
Its been 29 years and he holds no grudges against those who wronged him.
Its been 29 years and my heart still goes out to the boy who just wanted oranges- and a bit of love.

Making Life Easy- for you and those around you

The Titanic sank, the world warred (twice that too), Hiroshima and Nagasaki were bombed and 9/11 and 26/11 happened. Warriors bled and widows wept and yet, the show must go on. After much ado about absolutely nothing,  we feel that we have somewhat understood the ways of the world and how people master the Game Of Life- delirious but not yet dead ( mildly exaggerated).
We are neither Aristotle nor are we Platos, so telling you about people surpassing soul-crushing traumas would be overestimating our capabilities but we, the Holier Than Thous,  can surely tell you how to overcome the devastating dilemmas of everyday,  thereby making life easier for you ( and inevitably for those around). You can cash in the tickets for the thanksgiving later!!!
Life Lesson #1: Marks ( how to get them or rather how to get over them)
Now that we are being completely honest,  you should know that we are impossibly clueless about the former half of our promise. We just needed your attention somehow.  However,  about the second half of our promise we have concluded that marks are just numbers- erasable from paper and from memory. They take up 1/100th of a sheet but the heavens know that their impact is massive. Why?
Now before the entire bloodthirsty clan of teachers and educationists are at our throats,  let us hastily add that we are in no way telling you to neglect your studies.  Just dont make it the crux of your whole existence. Do not let them define you. Life offers no guarantees so for all you know, you could end up “passing” better in life than the genius with an IQ of 170 sitting next to you.
No, it isnt self-consolation.
Life Lesson #2: Combatting The Dissociative Identity Disorder ( to be what you are versus what others want you to be)
A is a genius, a prodigy.  A gets exceptional grades. A is an all rounder. However does that necessarily mean that A is happy? So while you try and imitate A in all aspects of her life, have your ever tried battling her inner demons?
Well, lets make this crystal clear. You aren’t an A, you’re a U (pun intended) and that’s where the buck stops. So quit shying away from yourself.  Stop seeking approval from someone not worth asking. Be your own hero, your own final judge and let no one take that title from you.
Life Lesson #3: The Final Solution (self-explanatory)
Disclaimer: This in no way alludes to that of Hitler’s.
First things first- its your life, not your parents’ slash friends’ slash collegues’. Since the decisions made will unfailingly affect you, might as well have a say in it.
Two great 16 year olds once said,  “live not for others, but for thine own self.”
You dont like something?  Quit whining.  Change it.
You dont like someone? Quit obsessing over it. Distance yourself.
You dont like yourself?  Well, too bad. Deal with it and live with it.
                  Controversially Yours,
                  Rajlakshmi Das    &
                  Mrinaal Sehgal.

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